"Cock! Big cock! Mommy, Daddy, look, BIG COCK!"
(Driving past Town CLOCK tower...)
"My bum has raisins!" (Pointing at his testicles.)
"How does the poo get in my penis?"
"Poo comes out of your bum, honey. Pee comes out of your penis."
"Mommy, what's this?"
"It's your nipple, sweetie. It's part of your body."
"Don't like nipples. Take them off."
(Covered in mosquito bites from sitting by the water to watch fireworks at night...)
"Mommy, I have nipples ALL OVER my face!"
"No Mommy I can't go to sleep. My eyes are not working."
"Mommy, you look tired. Why don't we play a game of Monopoly?"
(Sure, sweetie, let me just grab a fork to stick in my eye...)
And my favourite...
"Mommy, are Dad and [stepmom] a lot older than you and [stepdad]?"
"No, love; why"
"Because they're so much bigger than you."